To: Department of Immigration & Citizenship,

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    I write to politely ask that you allow the Swede Nils Olle Oskar Holmberg the right to stay in Australia forever. Olle really likes it here. He likes bushwalking, going to the movies, rocks, poly-subjectivity and the Internet. He plays the guitar, too. Olle may just be an artist, but he has skills that will contribute considerably to the lives of the Australian public. He tells interesting stories (verbally, visually, spatially, sonically or otherwise) that entertain and enlighten. He thinks about things (but not too much) and likes to make you think about things. The work also looks nice. Olle can make furniture and Australia likes Swedish furniture. It is made from recycled pallets, so they are just like IKEA’s flat packs. He is familiar with Microsoft Word. He once walked from Lilydale to Brunswick East. He doesn’t eat much, doesn’t need much water and rides his bike with a helmet. Although he may not seem like a Good Capitalist (he dreams of getting rid of all his stuff), he would make a self-sustaining Australian Citizen. He doesn’t even break the law. You wouldn’t even notice he was there, and if you could taste his signature dish, kangaroo goulash (roolash), then you would certainly grant him citizenship.
—David Mutch